Drakos7

I never realized how my child’s life could so powerfully bring up emotions and memories from my own childhood.

A few nights ago, I was talking with a friend about our daughters and how they relate with other people. They’re both at the same preschool. So we hear similar stories about stuff. These kids are 3-5 years old and already exhibit junior high mentality. Yikes.

Anne is friends with two other girls that go to our church. They’re all the same age. Anne has always connected well with one girl more than the other. So when the three of them are together, it’s almost always odd man out. I almost started to cry one time at church when I saw the little girl left behind or left out of everything Anne and her other friend were doing. Anne was completely oblivious and I was aching for the third little girl who was following them, asking to join in and eventually just standing there watching. All memories of elementary and junior high school came flooding back with all the feelings of isolation and longing.

A friend of mine once commented that we don’t need to shield our children from experiencing pain in relationships. It’s those experiences that help create empathy, compassion, other-awareness that not much else can do. I can see that in my life. I think my unhappiness growing up has helped to shape the way I see people so that I notice the loner in the corner of the room and try to draw them into conversation.

I can see that now, but it’s easier said than done. It’s a lot easier to set up an environment where children are carefully exposed and nurtured. It’s a lot harder to watch your child struggle with hurt and disappointment and hope in faith that God will use that to build character. I do hope Anne and Drew will grow up to be compassionate, caring and sensitive people. And I also hope I will have the strength to walk with them through those painful moments and not try to shield them from it all or try to solve it for them.